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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the comfort zone for daily publications, and we are always mindful of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, especially in relation to football. It was quite amusing to find out that Big Website columnist Adrian Chiles possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs at his home. Consider the situation regarding the Barnsley supporter who took the rest room somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss against Fleetwood Town. “His footwear was missing and had lost his mobile phone and his cap,” stated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook at the pinnacle of his career with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college for toilet purposes during 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then entered and inquired where the toilets were, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday represents 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down as England manager after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth together with Football Association official David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the legendary venue. According to Davies' personal account, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched troubled England locker room directly following the fixture, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies tried desperately to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I closed the door after us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his stint as England manager “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those Wembley toilets and those two towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: National team followers, value this time. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Current Reports

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Quote of the Day

“We remained in an extended queue, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|